My thoughts on birthing a baby as the new school year begins...
This post is more reflective than informative. If you are not interested in pregnancy journeys- this blog post probably is not for you. However, I will do my best to update and share my teaching and lesson ideas in the future as I explore my new role as a "teacher mom".
So here I go... Somehow the teacher (ME) who is obsessed with planning and control, was unable to plan the timing of my pregnancy... go figure...!
I am coming to terms with this, for several reasons, but mostly because my partner and I struggled with fertility for over two years prior to this pregnancy. I know I am not alone in this journey and I am so thankful to those of you who shared your stories with me and reminded me that I am not alone in this.
Back to the pregnancy. I found out I was expecting on Christmas eve day 2020, and was skeptical to believe I was truly pregnant for months... After loosing a child in utero, I began to believe many lies and bad thoughts about my future and body. But then at my 20 week ultrasound I saw the face of my baby, and my fears and lies about this not really happening faded. Fast forward to now... Summer 2021 where my due date is Aug 31. 2021. For me, School PD Begins around the 25th and well, students return on September 7th, 2021. In my early first few years teacher mind; this would be the WORST POSSIBLE TIMING for a baby.
"HOW CAN I HAVE A BABY AND BE THERE FOR MY STUDENTS TO START A NEW YEAR?"
Short answer: umm, Charissa, you can't.
Long answer: If I have learned anything during this time of pandemic teaching, it's that I have to LET GO of the things I can not control. Something that helped me with this mindset was writing down a physical list of things I can vs things I can not. Same goes for planning and preparing for my students and sub plans. I can't control what my sub does or doesn't do. I am currently working on a "let go list" for my time off preparing for this baby, and letting go of the "what if's" within my classroom.
So here we are 38.2 weeks pregnant due in 12 days, living day by day, and accepting the beautiful and not so beautiful realities of this new year. I am going to continue to try to be kind to myself and my mind as I cross into year 8 of teaching and first time motherhood, regardless of how different this new year looks and feels from my previous years.
Thanks for listening,